Our journey began in a living room. A group of friends sorting through the transitions and dilemmas arising in our lives.

We’d start with a few moments of mindfulness to help us attend to each other and find our own thoughts. And then, we’d read a little text or poem that offered a window into the changes we were facing. Time followed to reflect silently on what we had read and what it meant to us.

Some of us wrote. Others sketched. A few of us just gazed out the window. Precious time alone with our thoughts.

And then we’d share. Not the sort of sharing you might have over a cup of tea, mind you. This was different. We structured it  like this:

Sit with a partner. One person speaks. Says what they need to say, while the other listens. Simply listens.

No interrupting.

When the person is finished, the other might ask a simple question. But no advice, no suggestions, no comments, not even a “ya, me too.” Just an honest, open question meant to inspire deeper thought.

Then switch roles and repeat.

And you know what? It was kind of magic.

We didn’t just find fresh perspectives on our own questions and quandaries. We learned what it is to listen deeply to each other and ourselves.

We came back to the whole group feeling heard, witnessed, and clearer in our own hearts.

We closed with comments about what the evening meant to us, and finished up with a poem.

That was 2018. Forty retreats and 400 participants later, we’re still at it. Online, in-person, inside, outside. Still following the simple, gentle, structure we began with.